You Can Never Really Forget Your First Love
by gilmoregossiplover
Summary: Blair is about to turn thirty and is in a loveless marriage and goes to Nate to vent all of her problems. What she doesn't know isthat after all these years Nate still loves her.
1. Chapter 1

` Blair was in a room full of people all their for her. See, it was her 30th birthday and her husband had planned a "surprise" party. The truth is that she had known about it the whole time.

She was married to 45 year old Mark Williams. He was extremely handsome when they met, but he had started to gain some weight and had lost some of his best features. Still, Blair stayed in the relationship.

However at this very moment she hated him, loathed him. She was in a corner drinking more and more by the minute. I mean she usually loved parties, especially ones where she was the center of attention. She saw Mark and pulled him by his arm.

"Mark, where are my friends?"

"They're all here, just look around. The cake's going to come out in about twenty minutes."

"No, NO. These are YOUR friends Mark. Where are MY friends? Where's Serena? Where's Nate? Where's Chuck? I mean I would even be happy to see Dan." She started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Don't you get it?" He didn't get it. "I said I wanted to see Dan. Whenever I say I want to see that downer, you know I must really be miserable." She couldn't stop laughing. "I mean Dan HUMPHREY. Haha."

"You're making a scene. Now stop it!" He shook her a little, then he went close up to her ear and whispered "Now go to the bathroom and try to make me remember why I married your sorry piece of ass."

She started to make her way go the bathroom, but instead went down the elevator and hailed a taxi.

"Can we go to 2015 8th Avenue? My friend Nathaniel Archibald lives there."

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She knocked on the door repeatedly. "Nate, NATE. Why aren't you answering?"

Then Nate appeared, but at the neighboring door. "Blair? Is that you?"

"Of course it's me. Why are you at the wrong house?"

"I live HERE. You're at the wrong house.", Nate replied.

Blair couldn't help herself from laughing.

"Now, come in before someone calls the police on you."

She entered his house and he offered her a cup of coffee.

He had absolutely no idea why she was at his doorstep especially on the day of her 30th birthday. But he really couldn't complain, because in reality he had never truly gotten over his first love. Sure, he had had several girlfriends but they were never like Blair. He once even dated someone who looked exactly like Blair. But she didn't have the same sense of humor or laugh as Blair so he dumped her after a couple of weeks. Then when Chuck and Blair had finally ended their relationship after four years Nate was there. He was there for her and tried to make a move but thought that she was till in love with Chuck. However he must have been wrong because before he knew it she was engaged to a jerk fifteen years her senior.

The room was quiet but not in an awkward way. It was the kind of peaceful silence that everyone longs for. Nate really hated to break it but he felt he had to.

"Didn't Mark plan that big birthday bash for you?" He came back with two cups of coffee. Blair took one and answered, "Yeah but I left. You know it is so Mark to only invite his business friends. They're all so stuffy and arrogant. I absolutely hate him. I got way to drunk and just got in a cab and rang the wrong man's door bell."

"You know it's going to take a lot of butt kissing to get me off the hook for that."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's alright. I'm willing to do a lot more than that for you."

Then the silence returned, but this time it was awkward.

"Hey, do you have any cake or cupcakes or anything?" Blair asked.

Nate went to his kitchen and found a brownie. He held it up. "Will this do?"

She got up and looked through his drawers "That's perfect. Know do you have any candles?"

He realized what she wanted to do, but he didn't have any candles. "No, I wish I did."

"That's okay. I'll be back in five minutes, there must be a Rite Aid somewhere."

"Oh wait, will a cigarette do?"

"A cigarette?" Blair had no idea what he meant.

"A cigarette. You know we can light it and you can blow it out. Come on we only have three minutes until it's not your birthday anymore.

"Fine. Fine. I guess I have to make my wish on something. Why not a cigarette?'

Nate hurried to put the cigarette in the brownie and light it. He began singing "Happy Birthday, Happy birthday to you.."

She blew out the candles the moment before the clock turned to midnight. It wasn't how she had planned to ring in her 30th year of life but it would have to do.

"What did you wish for?" Nate was curious.

"I can't tell you, then it won't come true will it?"

Nate knew he'd get that response but he just loved hearing her voice. "So what do you want to do now?'

"Anything that could make me forget the blowing out a cigarette part… Do you have any movies?"

"I have Batman, The Haunting, Fast and the Furious… Oh wait here's one. How would you like to watch Funny Face?"

"I'd love to."

They began watching the movie, but all the alcohol Blair had drunk gave way ten minutes into the film and she fell asleep. Nate got off the couch and put a blanket on her. He gave her a little kiss on the forehead and she was such a sound sleeper she didn't even realize. Then he whispered in her ear, "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

When Blair woke up she saw Nate fixing her breakfast. She could hardly remember last night and she realized she had a really horrible hangover.

Nate noticed she was awake and asked her if she wanted breakfast.

"Yeah, of course." She got up and went to the table. Nate had made an omelet and some coffee. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome."

"Now I don't mean to seem ungrateful, because I am. I mean I am grateful. But why did I spend the night at your house?"

"I honestly have no idea. You came at a quarter to midnight, drunk may I add, and I sang happy birthday and then you fell asleep."

"So nothing happened between us, right?"

"Of course not."

"Okay." Just then she heard her phone ringing. It was Mark. She answered, "Good morning, honey"

"Good morning, yeah it's been a great morning. You've been gone all fu**ing night. Where did you go?", Mark screamed through the phone. He was so loud that Nate was able to hear every word.

"I was at a friend's house."

"What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. You were acting really…"

"No, no. Don't blame this all on me. I did my best. I planned a party for my wife aka YOU and all you can do is drink."

Blair began to cry, "Mark, I don't know what came over me. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry, just doesn't cut it. I had to say that you were throwing up and didn't want to see anyone. Then I called you all night."

"I really am so…"

"Which friend was it?"

"It, it,.."

"Answer me, you bitch."

Nate couldn't handle it anymore, so he took the phone from Blair and said, "She was at my house."

"Who is this?", Mark asked.

"It's Nathaniel Archibald….. Yes, that N.A.T.E ARCHIBALD….. No, she wouldn't be coming home anytime soon." Then he hung up the phone.

Blair couldn't help but smile, "You know you really didn't have to do that" she said.

"No, I had to. The way he was treating you."

"I can fight my own battles Nate."

"You can handle the next one all by yourself."

"I think he's going to divorce me, Nate."

"Then he's an idiot."

"Thanks." she said and gave a little forced giggle.

He muttered, "If I was married to you.."

She didn't really hear what he said so she said, "What?"

"Nothing, now do you want your omelet reheated?"

"That would be perfect."

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Nate and her had had a silent breakfast and when Nate was cleaning the dishes Blair felt like Nate would be the perfect guy to talk to.

"Nate, you were at the wedding right?"

"Of course I was. The whole of Manhattan was there."

"Did I look happy? Did I look like a woman in love?"

"You looked absolute perfect."

"Yeah, but did I look in love?"

Nate didn't want to admit it, but she did look happy then. It was the perfect wedding, a harpist, white roses by the dozen. Blair had even asked the mayor if she could have fireworks, illegal in New York City. And of course the mayor obliged and let her have them. Blair had her mother design a custom gown and in the end the happy couple rode off in a horse and carriage. Blair looked ecstatic the whole time, now if that was just because of the wedding or because she truly was in love he couldn't say.

"You looked happy, Blair. You really did. You looked like you were in love."

"Well I'm not in love anymore. You know what he told me last night?"

"What?"

"He said I was a sorry piece of ass." She started crying again after she was done saying it.

Nate started to put his shoes and coat on.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kick his fat ass."

Blair gave a little laugh, but then when she looked in his eyes she saw that he was serious. If she didn't stop him, he really would kick her husband's ass.

She ran over and put herself front of the door. "Don't."

"Why? What would stop me from leaving right now and seriously killing him?"

"This." She put her hand on his face and started kissing him.

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To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Really sorry about the delay. I've been really busy! I know it's pretty short, but there's more to come. Hope you enjoy!

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They made their way through the apartment, taking each other's clothes off and kissing as they went on. They even knocked some thing down. But when they made it to the bedroom, there was trouble.

Nate looked through the two nightstands and realized he didn't have a condom.

Blair was waiting on the bed, naked, and asked what was wrong.

"I don't have a condom. Are you on the pill or something?"

"No. I'm not. Nate, just come here. I need you."

Nate didn't need to be told twice, he went over and obliged.

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They had sex more times then either one could count. Nate was so tired that he went to sleep.

Blair put on Nate's shirt and went to watch the television. She had never been happier. The way Nate looked at her, the way he touched her. She hadn't felt so desired and loved in years. Then she thought about her husband. He'd be crushed. I mean maybe she didn't love him anymore, but he was till her husband. She never pictured that she'd end up as an adulteress. She was Blair Waldorf for goodness sakes.

She could hardly remember the quick process of putting her party dress and heels back on. She opened the door to leave, but knew it would be rude just to leave. She started to write a note, "Nate, I really do appreciate the great sex.", but then she crossed that out, because it seemed vulgar. She began to write another note, "I'm really sorry for bringing back old feelings. But I made a lapse in judgment. I'm married Nate and you can't mess with vows. Really, really sorry."

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When Nate woke up, he saw the note. He guess he had seen it coming. He knew Blair's feelings had never been quite as strong for him, since she found out about Serena all those years back. Even with this realization, he couldn't help but be disappointed. He had pictured a life with Blair. He poured himself a shot of tequila and took a shower.

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Blair made her way to her townhouse on Park Avenue. Looking at it again, she noticed that it wasn't as perfect as she had thought it was. It had a little crack that ran down the side and the color was somehow off. When she had bought the house with Mark and furnished it, she thought that her life was complete. She thought that happily ever afters were really possible.

She opened the door, went to the bedroom, and saw Mark laying down on the bed He had his pajamas on and had a bottle of whiskey at his side. She knew it was wrong, but she loved the fact that he was worried to drunkenness for her. She woke him up.

"Blair, I didn't mean anything I said. I love you, I love you.", and he began to cry.

Blair tried to soothe him and rocked him back and forth. She began to remember why she had married him in the first place. She prayed to God that he would never find out about what happened with Nate.

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One Month Later…

Blair sat on the toilet bowl with several pregnancy tests around her, all positive.


	4. Chapter 4

Blair was at one of the social events that she had recently found boring. So at this moment, she was listening to some dull man talking about politics or something. What made it worse is that she couldn't drink anything.

A couple days ago she had taken a pregnancy test, no several pregnancy tests. And they all been positive. But still, she had hope that she wasn't pregnant. Because if she was pregnant it could be Nate's.

"And what that nasty Clinton is doing in the Senate is just completely…", the man was saying.

"I couldn't agree more. She should have never been elected in the first place… Um, I have to go to the bathroom", Blair said and then ran away.

Of course she didn't have to go to the bathroom, but she couldn't handle it anymore. She had the same feeling she had had at her birthday party. She felt like the walls were closing in on her and she had to escape. But she couldn't, she was the chairperson of the charity. She began crying after this realization and must have continued for at least five minutes.

Then she looked at herself in the mirror, re-did her makeup and went outside again. She sat beside her loving husband and gave him a little kiss on the forehead. Ever since she had come home, they had been working on their relationship. She convinced herself that she loved him and that they could spent eternity together just like she had always hoped for.

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When they got home, Blair felt a lot better, but she wanted to take a shower. She went in and left Mark watching television.

But Mark was hungry and went to the kitchen. He put something in the microwave and went to throw away the wrapping. Then he saw something he didn't notice before. He spotted a pregnancy test. He was curious and picked it up. It was positive. Blair was pregnant!

He was so infuriated that he ran up to the bathroom and tore open the shower curtain to reveal Blair showering naked. She soon became aware of her husband and ran out to put a towel on.

"Why did you do that for? I was taking a shower", Blair yelled at Mark.

He didn't have to say anything for Blair to know the answer. She saw the test in his hand. "Oh", was all Blair could think to say.

"Oh. You better do better than 'Oh'. You're knocked up."

"I was waiting for the perfect moment to tell you the good news."

"Don't even play that innocent role. It's not mine Blair."

"Of course it's yours. I haven't been with anyone else since the day I met you. I'm not like you, I'm faithful."

Mark didn't say anything for a long time and then he started throwing things at the wall and knocking over lamps. Blair accusing him of infidelity really pushed him over the edge. He was so made that he dragged her by the wrist and pushed her against a wall.

"If you're so faithful, then how are you pregnant? We haven't slept together for months."

Blair had hoped that he would never notice that minor detail. But now she was left speechless. It was the truth, the pair hadn't been intimate in a very long time.

"Well.. Well.." Blair really had nothing to say, a first for her.

"Whose baby is it really bitch?", Mark said this while pushing her harder against the wall. He refused to let her go even though Blair continued to drive him away.

"It's Nate's."

"Nate?"

"Yeah, Nate Archibald."

"You said you slept on the couch. You whore."

He began hitting her and then picked her up and threw her on the bed.

"You don't want to this this, Mark. If you do this, I'll never look at you the same way", Blair kept on repeating this, trying to make him stop.

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But he didn't stop, he raped her and when it was over he didn't even look at her. He just went down stairs.

He left Blair on the bed sobbing. She couldn't believe that this had happened to her. She was sore and wanted to just forget it all occurred.

Then Mark came upstairs again and said, "You have a choice. You say the baby's the fruit of my loins or we get a divorce and I freeze your account."

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To be continued…

Thank you xXc0okieSsNcrEamXx for your help.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner. I've probably lost any readers I had but I just felt I had to continue it. I reread it and remembered it was a pretty good story.

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Nate had spent the month fixing his sailboat. After the whole thing with Blair all he had wanted to do was go on his boat and just go for days trying to forget about Blair, like he had after high school graduation. But when he got there he saw how damaged it was from a storm a couple months back. When he was repairing it he had nothing to do but think about Blair. Blair's hair, her laugh. Oh that little laugh echoed in his head for years. Why had he been stupid enough to sleep with Serena? If he didn't sleep with Serena then Blair would never had had doubts about their relationship. They could have been married with children. He had always wondered what their children would look like.

Now his boat was ready and all he needed to do was go home, pack some things and head out into the blue oblivion.

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At that very moment Blair was shopping in the kid's section of Neiman Marcus. She had decided last night that she would keep her baby and say that it was Mark's even though it really wasn't. She didn't love him. She had realized that last night as well.

In fact she hated his guts. But she had no where else to go. She met him just when she was in her senior year of college and he proposed the same weekend she was supposed to be filling out applications for graduate school. So instead of becoming a lawyer she devoted herself to being the perfect wife. She helped him with business, cooked his meals, etc. And now she found herself relying on him. Because with him she was a married woman with social position but without him she was a pregnant, unemployed thirty year old.

When she was looking through the toys she found a little cashmere teddy bear and took it to the register. She bought it and went on her way to her husband's job.

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"Hello", she exclaimed as called her husband from the elevator going up to his office.

"Hi, darling…Did you make your decision yet?"

"Yes. I'm actually coming up to see you right now."

"Now?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"No. It's not okay. I'm in a very important meeting", he snapped.

That was when Blair heard the woman's voice in the background.

"Who was that, Mark?"

She heard again. This time it was a giggle.

"Mark, I heard a woman's voice."

She hung up the phone and even though she was pregnant and in heels she ran as fast as she could. She saw a woman with messy hair coming out of Mark's office.

"Oh. Hi, so you've made your decision", Mark calmly said pretending not to notice his wife's angry eyes and the fact that he knew she knew.

"Yes. I made my choice. I'd rather live in the subway and be single then spend one more moment as your wife no matter how much money that means I have."

She took her Tiffany & Co ring off and threw it on the floor. Mark went over to try to protest but Blair just walked away.

"Well you probably will end up living on the subway because with me you're nothing. NOTHING! All you have is that bastard baby inside you."

Blair felt like fighting. She felt like slapping that bald, pudgy man she once loved wholeheartedly. But instead she kept her cool, went into the elevator and hailed a taxi outside.

When she got one she went inside and said "2015 8th Avenue, please."

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When she got there she rang the door bell and knocked on the door long and hard, but she got no answer. After about two minutes she felt tears running down her face. She was crying. The man she wanted to be with wasn't answering her.

A neighbor had seen her full struggle and came out. She sat next to Blair and said, "Honey, he's not there. He's sailing for a month or so?"

Blair couldn't comprehend, "How do you know?"

"He gave me his key so I could water the plants and collect his mail."

"Do you know where his boat is?"

"I think it's Dock sixty something at Chelsea Piers."

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Without even thinking Blair found herself in another cab on her way to find Nate. She ran to the dock only to see Nate beginning to go.

"NATE", she screamed.

He didn't seem to hear.

"NATE. I'M PREGNANT."

Well that got his attention. He saw her and steered his way back to the dock. When he was still on his way he shouted, "BLAIR, ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"Well of course I am."

Nate was so happy that when he reached the dock he didn't even bother to tie it up. He ran and hugged her and before they knew it they were kissing and more in love then ever before. But then Nate said what had to be said.

"But what about Mark?"

"I'm divorcing him."

They found themselves kissing each other once again and then Nate said, "Blair. I love you. I've loved you ever since we were teenagers and I've never stopped."

"Nathaniel Archibald. I love you, always have, always will."

It would have been the perfect moment if Nate's boat hadn't started going further and further away from it's place. Nate hurried to catch it and tied it securely to the posts.

When he came back Blair was sitting down on a bench just looking at the cashmere bunny she picked out. She thought about all the times Nate and her had had and then she thought about their future. She knew that her soul mate loved her back. And though there were some road bumps along the way her fairytale was coming true. She would live with Nate, her first love, for happily ever after. Well, after the divorce papers went through.


End file.
